- Do you have a hard time leaving work at work?
- Do you feel overwhelmed by your personal and professional responsibilities?
- Do you feel like you have no energy and time for yourself?
- Do you feel like you’re doing a lot of everything but not really accomplishing much of anything?
If you answer “yes” to any of these questions, you’re not alone; however it may be time to reevaluate what is really important to you and focus on gaining more work-life balance. As many of us are asked to do more in our jobs and are relied upon to manage personal responsibilities, such as caring for aging parents or other family members, it can be difficult to cope and feel any sense of accomplishment. The effort to be in control and exceptional in everything we do simply cannot be maintained. Something will eventually suffer; and hopefully it’s not the thing that is most important to you.
If we don’t tend to ourselves by nurturing healthy habits, stress can consume us mentally and physically. The consequences of living with constant stress include mental and emotional burnout and chronic or serious health issues. Here are some strategies I have found useful for minimizing stress, achieving greater balance and feeling more satisfied with my life.
Do a values exercise. Take some time to reflect on what is most important to you. Make a list of your top 5 values (ex. Family, Friendship, Creativity, Achievement, Knowledge, Health). Once you’ve established your top 5 values, evaluate whether your attention and daily activities support those values. Under each value, make a list of activities you can incorporate into your daily or weekly routine. To help generate new habits, select one value each week and focus on practicing behaviors and activities that are consistent with and support that value.
Get Organized. Based on your values and interests, setreasonablegoals and establish action items to accomplish those goals. If you tend to be an over-achiever, you may need to check with a trusted, objective third party whether your expectations for yourself are in fact “reasonable”. Make daily lists of tasks (personal and professional) and rank activities based on importance and priority to you. Delegate or ask for help with tasks that are not critical to your area of expertise and responsibility. Be flexible as adjusting priorities may be needed, and accept that some tasks will transfer into the next day’s list.
Rally Support. Lean on friends and family for encouragement and support. Share your work-life balance goals with others, including your coworkers and manager/employer. Also share your challenges and potential derailers, and ask them to help hold you accountable. Explore and take advantage of education and assistance available under your employer’s work-life benefit programs (e.g. Personal Time Off, Flexible Work Schedules, Wellness, Employee Assistance Program). When you are offered tools and help – take it!
Let Go. Relinquish the expectation of perfection and control over every aspect of your life. Do you often participate in “shoulding” or “mustination”? Pay attention to what creates stress and anxiety for you. In those instances, ask yourself the following: “What am I thinking or telling myself?” “Are my expectations of myself reasonable and rational?” If not, let it go. While you may not be able to control circumstances or the actions of others, you can control how you think, feel and respond by practicing healthy self-talk.
Improve Boundaries. Make a conscious effort to set boundaries between personal time and work time. For example, block out times for checking and responding to work emails or calls outside of business hours. You may even consider turning off your cell phone, so you won’t be tempted. Be careful not to over-extend yourself, and understand that it is perfectly acceptable to honestly and politely say “no”. Multi-tasking is overrated. It’s better to do one thing really well than multiple things half way.
Schedule in Fun & Laughter. When we get out of balance, it helps to take a planned approach to ensure we make time for fun. Yes, I know it’s not spontaneous, but still better than no fun at all. This means doing the things that are enjoyable and recharge us. This may include pursuing a hobby, taking classes, socializing with friends or participating in cultural or recreational activities. Make a point to schedule at least 1 fun activity each week. Research has found that laughing (especially the full, belly laugh) increases the body’s immune response and reduces stress hormones, such as cortisol. So make time to see a funny movie, a comedy show or simply share funny stories with friends. Sometimes laughter can be the best medicine.
Nourish Yourself: Practice healthy eating habits, exercise, and make sure to schedule at least 1-2 hours per week for retreat and relaxation. This means quiet, alone time (e.g. listening to music, daydreaming, meditation, yoga, going for a walk). This allows you time to focus on being calm and present, allowing you to reflect on how you feel physically and mentally.
Like anything worthwhile, achieving work-life balance requires a 100% commitment, regular practice and discipline. Author and consultant, Greg Bell, writes, “Success is about engaging in activity that matters most to you.” I have found this to be very true personally and professionally. Making health and balance a priority through mindful practice of good habits will help reduce stress and allow you to be more productive when you are working, ultimately resulting in greater happiness and success.
Additional Resources:
www.cascadecenters.com
www.lifebalanceprogram.com
www.mayoclinic.com
The Guide to Rational Living, by Dr. Albert Ellis