Most people still carry a very specific image of what alcoholism looks like. It’s dramatic, visible, and hard to miss. It shows up in missed work, broken relationships, and obvious decline. That image is so ingrained that when it doesn’t match what we see in front of us, we assume everything is fine. And that assumption is where the real problem begins.
In my conversation with Sarah Benton on Transform Your Workplace, we explored a version of alcohol misuse that doesn’t fit the stereotype at all. Benton, author of Understanding the High Functioning Alcoholic, has spent years studying and treating this issue, and she also lived it herself. What she describes is something far more common and far more difficult to detect: people who are succeeding on the outside while quietly struggling on the inside.
That disconnect matters, especially at work. Because if we’re only looking for the obvious signs, we’re going to miss a large group of people who are still performing, still contributing, and still hurting.
Why high-functioning alcoholism gets overlooked
One of the most important clarifications Benton made is that “high-functioning alcoholic” isn’t a different diagnosis but a different presentation. As she put it, “There is no difference in definition between a high-functioning alcoholic and an alcoholic. I do think people love the term because it’s a little flattering.”
That framing is revealing. The label itself creates distance from the problem. It allows people to acknowledge something might be off without fully confronting what it means. If you’re still doing well at work, still showing up, still achieving, it’s easy to believe you haven’t crossed a line.
The challenge is that most of us were taught to look for the wrong indicators. Benton explained that “a lot of the red flags that we were conditioned to see are not obvious with high-functioning alcoholics.” Instead of visible collapse and chaos, there’s consistency and control.
In a workplace setting, that makes the issue almost invisible. High performers tend to earn trust, autonomy, and fewer questions. If someone is meeting expectations or exceeding them, their personal habits are rarely scrutinized. That creates an environment where a problem can persist for years without being addressed. It also reinforces a dangerous comparison. If someone isn’t struggling in obvious ways, they assume they don’t have a problem.
The internal experience looks very different
From the outside, high-functioning alcoholism can look like discipline. But from the inside, it often feels like a loss of control.
Benton described it in simple but direct terms: “When you have a drink, it sets off a craving in your brain for more, and you don’t have a shut off.” That loss of a stopping point is paired with something else that’s less visible. “When you’re not drinking,” she said, “you have a mental obsession around when you will next.”
That combination creates a cycle that’s easy to hide but hard to break. A person may only drink occasionally, but when they do, it escalates. Between those moments, there’s a quiet preoccupation that shapes decisions, routines, and priorities.
One of the most telling questions Benton offered was this: “Can you imagine your life without that substance?” It’s not a question most people ask themselves directly, but it cuts through a lot of rationalization. If the answer is no, or even “I don’t want to,” it’s worth paying attention to what that relationship actually looks like.
In professional environments, that internal struggle is rarely visible. Colleagues don’t see the mental negotiation, the rules people set for themselves, or the effort it takes to maintain control. They only see the outcome, which often looks like competence.
The rules that make the problem easier to justify
One of the most insightful parts of Benton’s story is how structured her life was while she was struggling. She described herself as highly disciplined. She got good grades, participated in activities, and later built a demanding career. She also created rules around her drinking to keep it “under control.”
Looking back, she sees those rules differently. She said, “The rules were really a way to justify my drinking.” As long as she followed them, she could maintain the belief that nothing was wrong.
That pattern shows up in many high-performing environments. People create systems to prove they’re still in control. They don’t drink before work. They don’t miss deadlines. They wait until responsibilities are handled. Those boundaries can feel like evidence of discipline, but they can also function as a shield against deeper reflection.
Benton summed it up in a way that applies far beyond this topic: “If you have to control something or spend that much energy trying to control it, it’s likely out of control.”
That insight is especially relevant for leaders. The employees who appear the most put-together are often the ones who have developed the most sophisticated ways to manage their image. That doesn’t mean something is wrong, but it does mean we shouldn’t assume everything is right.
Why people don’t wait for a breaking point
There’s a common belief that people only change after hitting rock bottom. Benton’s experience challenges that idea. For her, the turning point wasn’t a single catastrophic event. It was a realization about where her current path was leading. “It was honestly radical acceptance,” she said, “that if I continued drinking the way that I drank […], I wasn’t going to have the life that I wanted.”
That kind of clarity came from looking ahead, not just looking at the present. She recognized that even if things seemed manageable in the moment, the long-term impact would eventually show up. “I felt that I would at some point endanger my career,” she explained, “I would at some point destroy a marriage and not be able to be the parent that I would want to be.”
That perspective is important in a workplace context. Waiting for visible failure is risky. By the time the problem becomes obvious, the damage is often much harder to repair.
Benton also shared a line she heard in recovery that stuck with her: “Only an alcoholic thinks that they need to hit a lower bottom to be an alcoholic.” That mindset keeps people stuck. There’s always someone worse off, which makes it easy to delay action.
In high-performance environments, that comparison can be even more pronounced. As long as someone is still succeeding, they can convince themselves they’re fine. That’s why early awareness matters so much.
The workplace isn’t separate from the problem
At one point in our conversation, I asked Benton how prevalent high-functioning alcoholics really are in professional settings. Her answer was straightforward: “They’re everywhere. They’re just not in treatment.”
That’s a hard truth to sit with, but it reflects what many leaders already suspect. Alcohol misuse doesn’t disappear when someone enters the workforce. Instead, it often adapts to it.
Benton pointed to research showing that a large percentage of people with alcohol use disorder fall into functional or young adult subtypes, not the chronic severe category most people associate with addiction. That means many individuals are still working, still contributing, and still largely unnoticed.
Workplace culture can unintentionally reinforce this. In many industries, alcohol is tied to networking, celebration, and stress relief. Benton described environments where people are effectively taught to “work hard, play hard,” with alcohol woven into both sides of that equation.
The challenge is that what starts as a social norm can become a coping mechanism. When stress is high and expectations are constant, people look for ways to unwind. If alcohol is the default, it can become the easiest option, even if it’s not the healthiest one.
That doesn’t mean workplaces need to eliminate alcohol entirely. But they should be more intentional about how it shows up and what message it sends.
What support actually looks like at work
Benton has seen both supportive and unsupportive workplaces, and the difference is significant. Supportive environments allow employees to seek help without fear of losing their jobs. They honor things like FMLA and create space for treatment and recovery.
Just as important, they don’t ignore the topic. Benton emphasized the need for “positive encouragement and dialogue around the topic and not avoiding it completely or making a person feel embarrassed about it.” After all, silence just pushes it further underground.
There’s also a broader cultural piece to consider. Not everyone who chooses not to drink is in recovery, but everyone benefits from a workplace where that choice is respected. Benton put it simply: “Just let other people not drink in peace.”
That kind of respect creates a more inclusive environment for everyone. It removes pressure, reduces stigma, and makes it easier for people to make decisions that support their well-being.
Leaders don’t need to have all the answers, but they do shape the environment. The way they respond to one person’s situation sends a signal to many others who may be watching quietly.
The first step is often smaller than expected
For anyone listening to our conversation and recognizing themselves in it, Benton’s advice was surprisingly simple: “Tell someone that you trust that you’re just questioning your relationship to alcohol or substances,” she said.
That first step matters because it breaks the isolation. It turns something internal into something shared, which is often where real change begins. From there, people can explore what’s underneath, whether that’s stress, burnout, mental health, or something else entirely.
Benton also pointed out that not every concern turns into addiction, but asking the question is still meaningful. “If you’re asking the question,” she said, “likely there’s something there.”
That’s a perspective leaders can take to heart as well. The goal isn’t to diagnose or intervene in every situation but rather to create a culture where people don’t feel like they have to hide in the first place.
The reality is that high-functioning alcohol use isn’t rare. It’s just quiet. Ultimately, if we want healthier workplaces, we have to get better at noticing what success can sometimes conceal.
Brandon Laws is a workplace culture and leadership enthusiast, host of the Transform Your Workplace podcast, and VP of Marketing and Product at Xenium HR.