In our most recent episode of Transform Your Workplace, negotiation and leadership expert Dr. Yasmin Davidds explores how gracious communication can transform your workplace relationships. She encourages listeners to lead with empathy, gratitude, and compassion. That’s because true leadership stems from seeking to understand others, not strong-arming them into giving you what you want. This insightful episode serves as a powerful reminder that personal growth and leadership go hand in hand.
GUEST AT A GLANCE
Dr. Yasmin Davidds is the CEO and founder of the Latina Global Executive Leadership Institute at USC and the Women’s Institute of Negotiation. She helps women develop leadership and negotiation skills in professional and corporate settings. She is also the author of Graciously Assertive: How Becoming a Better Human Makes You a Better Leader.
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GRACIOUSLY-ASSERTIVE COMMUNICATION
Yasmin Davidds, a renowned leadership coach, has discovered a profound connection between effective communication and both personal and professional growth. Through her leadership program, Davidds initially empowered women to assert their needs and communicate more directly with their superiors. But that assertive approach didn’t yield the results Davidds expected.
“I believe simultaneously, if you become a better leader, you become a better human, [and] if you become a better human, you become a better leader,” she explained. Davidds realized that a more gracious and empathetic communication style got people further in the workplace than the aggressive approach she originally tried to cultivate among her program’s participants. Ultimately, Davidds learned that, when it comes to being a good human, we must acknowledge the struggles and needs of others while also expressing our own.
PODCAST EPISODE HIGHLIGHTS
Graciousness: A Spirit of Gratitude
“Research shows over and over and over that the energy that you bring to the table, that you bring to your space and energy, […] is reciprocal. It reciprocates not only to you, but it builds an environment of emotional safety, which is a lack of judgment and an ability to be authentic and be yourself. And it really does provide a place where you have less workplace toxicity. You create a culture of transparency because people now feel that they can be transparent, at least as much as you can at work. But it really does require someone to come in with the intention of wanting to be grateful […] because people can use the words that I teach them, but if the tone and the spirit are not there, it’s going to backfire, and people are going to be able to tell you’re not authentic. So it’s about shifting your own energy into one of gratitude, and when you’re able to be grateful for whatever it is in life, you show up differently, and you can lead with graciousness.”
What’s Best for Humanity
“Getting really clear about your values is the key on a path to truly living a purposeful and moral leadership life. Because if you don’t know what you stand for, what you value, how are you even going to lead yourself and therefore lead others? But it’s a leader that stands with conviction about what they believe. […] I think that’s what we lack so much. People will make decisions based on profit margins instead of humanity, based on what’s going to gain more power instead of what’s going to help more people. I mean, profits are great, but at what cost?”
Gracious Communication
“Some people say, ‘I don’t like all that mushy stuff. Just give it to me direct.’ Well, I get that. However, I’ve never ever had anyone say, ‘I don’t like the graciousness that comes with that.’ It really is always welcome. People don’t like when you’re BSing them — that’s what they don’t like. […] Basic graciousness is being kind, thinking about the person before you think about the task, and wishing them a good day. That simple step, just starting with that, will start changing the way people interact with you.”
A Fundamental Practice
“As you start seeing the response to that and how people now are interacting with you, it motivates you and inspires you to do it more and then to go to the next step, which is being empathetic towards people before you even ask for what you want. My philosophy is ‘Don’t ever ask for something you’re not willing to offer.’ You want empathy? You better be empathetic. You want them to listen? You better start by listening, and you have to offer it first because you have to lead by example.”
Putting in the Work
“To become a great leader where you connect with individuals and really lead a place with hundreds and hundreds of thousands of employees who are living in a good space at work, you need to do the work because you need to lead by example. You need to be self-aware. You need to be socially aware. You need to self-regulate. I mean, we see these tyrant CEOs — people firing via Zoom. Really? […] But they’re so invested in the work and the deliverables that they forget the humanity part of it. And they forget that these people are the ones that give them the results that they need. And so they need to start by taking time to be more mindful of developing themselves.”
The Road to Better Leadership
“Some people are like, ‘Well, I don’t really care about becoming a better human. I just want to be a better leader.’ I’m like, ‘Okay, let me give you the steps to better graciously-assertive communication because I know even if they start with the mechanics, they’ll start getting results that are so powerful that they’ll still want to do more. And eventually, they will become better human beings. They just don’t know it yet.”
LEARN MORE
Grab your copy of Graciously Assertive, Yasmin Davidds’ new book, on Amazon or wherever books are sold.