With all the chaos going on in the world, it was nice to sit down with Gregg Ward, author of The Respectful Leader: Seven Ways to Influence Without Intimidation, and get his take on what it is to be a good leader. Whether you’re leading a team in-office or whether you’re leading remotely, I really think you’ll get a lot out of this book. Here are some of the takeaways from my interview with Gregg. I hope you enjoy it!
Behind the Book
One of my favorite things about Gregg’s book is that it’s written as a fable. I was curious about why Gregg would go that route instead of writing a typical nonfiction leadership book. It turns out, Gregg is actually a trained writer, actor, director, and producer in theater and film, and he’s been doing that kind of work since he was in his teens. “So one way or another, I have become a storyteller. My father was a sportswriter, and he was a storyteller. And as I look around the literature of all the leadership books out there, I found that the ones that resonated the most and had a huge impact with people in a positive way were business fables,” Gregg added.
Fables have a way of teaching you without you realizing it because “you enjoy the story for the story’s sake.” In terms of leadership development, Gregg went on to tell me that it felt natural to write a story that would be about the people that he’d worked with over many years — big companies, little companies, the federal government, you name it — and create a realistic storyline and characters.
Based on Real Characters
Great storytelling must include great characters. And, as I read it, I was sure that Gregg based them on real people. I asked, “Did you put a lot of what you’ve learned over the years into some of these characters?” Gregg explained that virtually every character in the book was based on a real person or a real experience that he has encountered over the years.
Grace’s character, for example, is based on someone who mentored Gregg for many, many years. He went on to say, “There’s just no bologna with her. She’s very respectful. She’s very direct and clear, and I love her for it.” I think that Gregg’s use of realistic characters based on real-life colleagues makes for an engaging, convincing storyline for leaders to learn from.
“Chuck Style” = Ineffective Leadership
One of the book’s characters that I found interesting was Chuck, an authoritarian leader who is edgy and disrespectful at times. While many younger leaders look to him for mentorship and guidance, Chuck just isn’t an effective leader. I wanted to get Gregg’s take on this character.
Gregg explained, “Especially in today’s business cultures, this method of leadership just doesn’t work anymore. There was a time where “Chuck Style,” leading through “Command and Control” and “Carrot and Stick” management, was common. The problem is that our research tells us that roughly 80 to 90% of us find both of these leadership styles to be disrespectful when lives are not at stake. It’s one thing if we’re in the middle of a firefight and we’re in the military and we can’t just stand around. In those cases, of course, somebody has to take control. But most of us, when it’s not a life or death situation, find that this domineering leadership style demotivates us rather than motivates us.”
The Future of Leadership
In the introduction of his book, Gregg said that it’s unlikely we’re ever going to go back to the days where profile business leaders — those who’ve been engaging in disrespectful and inappropriate behavior — are going to be allowed to continue without consequence, or when caught, allowed to quietly retire with a golden parachute. I asked Gregg why he believes that will no longer be the case.
Surprisingly, Gregg wanted to amend that statement. He said, “I must admit I was being a bit overly optimistic when I wrote that. The research has shown that many cultures still operate that way and are, on paper, at least successful. Let me publicly revise that statement to say that it would be a very positive development if the days of “Command and Control” and “Carrot and Stick” leadership would be over.” Gregg added, though, that he is seeing more and more leaders who recognize these types of leadership for what they are. Not to mention, they’re convinced when they see how costly bad leadership can be.
When CEOs and leaders are disrespectful, it bleeds into the culture. And today, “people want to be tied to good culture, a good mission, and purpose. And I think those who work for somebody who isn’t respectful, who doesn’t have their best of intentions at heart, they are much more likely to leave, and that will cost the company in revenue downstream,” Gregg explained.
Advice for Respectful Leadership
Gregg went on to give us some insight into two of his favorite methods for respectful leadership. He calls them “Respectful Do’s.” First, we must be the first to show respect. Gregg explained, “Don’t assume, just because you’re the leader, that people should automatically respect you. Instead, offer respect to other people first. It’s not hard, and it actually pays enormous dividends. And why not? There’s nothing wrong with being the first to respect.”
Unfortunately, some leaders believe that respect has to be earned and that their teams must first earn the leadership’s respect. Gregg, on the other hand, says that respect should come from the top down. “And once you have the respect of your team, they will jump through hoops for you and show resilience and loyalty when the going gets tough. On the other hand, if you don’t have the respect of your team, they won’t perform and they will bail on you.”
Second, Gregg recommends practicing “regular respect, which is what we learned as kids — saying “please,” “thank you,” and “I appreciate you.” It sounds simple, but manners go a long way toward creating a culture of respect in your workplace. And last, as leaders, we must learn to control our emotional responses. Sometimes, leaders aren’t even aware of how their negative emotions can impact their team. Gregg added that we can’t “shoot the messenger” when we receive bad news. We need to manage our reactions and respond with control.
To Learn More
If you enjoyed this article, I want to encourage you to check out Gregg’s book. When you read this story, you’re going to recognize yourself or some of your colleagues in the storyline, and it’s eye-opening to say the least.
Also, at the end of our interview, Gregg filled me in on other ways he’s making an impact in the world of respectful leadership. In December 2019, Gregg and his team founded a nonprofit called the Center for Respectful Leadership, and their focus is continuing research in this area. They generate public dialogues and provide learning and development and coaching opportunities to anyone interested. If this sounds like something you’re interested in doing, go to respectfulleader.com.
As always, I hope you got as much out of this interview as I did. To hear the full podcast episode, click here.
Listen to the interview with Gregg Ward 👇