I’m so excited to share my interview with Adrian Gostick with all of you. He’s the co-author of a new book coming out on March 3, 2020, called Leading with Gratitude: Eight Leadership Practices for Extraordinary Business Results. My conversation with Gostick was so eye-opening, so I know you’ll benefit from what he had to say.
Let me start by saying that Gostick has surveyed hundreds of thousands of employees, and found that — without fail — they feel unappreciated in the workplace. This feeling of being undervalued is so commonplace, “especially with Millennials and Generation Z coming into the workforce.” According to Gostick, these employees need feedback and recognition to stay satisfied in their roles. When they don’t get it, they job hop, which I’m sure we’ve all seen happen time and time again.
A Fear-Based Culture: More Common Than You Think
So what gives? Why do the majority of employees surveyed feel unappreciated? Gostick thinks it has to do with leaders, whether they realize it or not, promoting a fear-based culture rather than a culture of gratitude. Intimidation, threats disguised as deadlines, and constant pressure — these are the telltale signs of a fear-based culture.
Interestingly enough, Gostick noted that “absolutely no human being on the planet thinks they lead by fear,” and yet “we found in our surveys that at least one-third of managers could be seen as leading in fear-based cultures.” And although fear is a good motivator as deadlines approach, it just can’t work over the long term. According to Gostick, employees respond either by “freezing like a deer in headlights or just getting beat down.”
So, then, why do managers continue to lead like this? It may be that they view operating out of gratitude as “soft.” Of course, Gostick doesn’t think in such black and white terms. A manager can undoubtedly be firm, strong, and grateful at the same time.
Born With a Propensity Toward Gratitude?
Gostick told me he’s interviewed CEOs of some of the world’s most well-known and successful companies—Alan Mullaly who saved Ford Motor Company, Ken Chenault who was the CEO of American Express, Hubert Joly, who was the CEO of Best Buy to name a few — and he asked them how they integrated gratitude into the practices.
Surprisingly, Gostick explained, “in 9 times out of 10 [situations], they were born this way.” In other words, the ability to notice employees and respond with gratitude is just a part of who they are.
And even though these CEOs had a propensity for gratitude, they fell into the “tough guy” camp in the beginning, thinking that being tough would get better results. “Alan Mullaly told us [that] his first employee quit on him after about three or four months because he just couldn’t stand him.” Mullaly admitted that he was micromanaging and nitpicking everything. It was only through trial and error that he realized that this approach simply didn’t work.
Ken Chenault, the CEO of American Express, a phenomenally successful leader, said you can still have high expectations of people and still be grateful in everything you do. According to Gostick, when Chenault “ran his 70,000 person organization every single day, he would be sending out thank you notes […] to people that he had seen that had done something remarkable. And he was telling people about this. He carried around a gratitude journal and never left home without it.”
Adrian Gostick’s Personal Gratitude Transformation
We began to dig into Gostick’s own experience regarding leading with gratitude. He told me that when he was in his late twenties, he had finally achieved his goal of becoming vice president for an investor relations and public affairs department. But running a department kept Gostick so busy that gratitude was not one of his priorities.
That is until one of his employees, Pat, redesigned a newsletter for the company. Another employee approached Gostick and urged him to thank Pat for the fantastic design work she had done, but Gostick didn’t think much of it. Right before the next staff meeting, however, Jenny brought Gostick a gift and asked him to give it to Pat at the meeting to thank and recognize her for her hard work. Gostick remembers that, as he thanked her, “Pat had tears in her eyes, and after the meeting, she said, ‘you know, in 30 years, this is the first time I’ve publicly been recognized.’”
This powerful story of a simple gesture of gratitude changed Gostick’s perspective on the connection between gratitude and good leadership.
Some Tips for Leading with Gratitude
- Focus on people, not products. Many leaders don’t express gratitude because they claim they don’t have the time, but in response to that, Gostick asked, “What’s more important than your people who are going to produce for you?”
- Don’t save it up. In other words, don’t wait until the project is finished or the product is launched to recognize your employees’ hard work. Recognize each step forward so that your people feel valued despite the results.
- Train your brain. Even if you aren’t prone to notice and recognize your peoples’ achievements, you can learn to. Be intentional about encouraging gratitude, and you’ll find that it will eventually become a part of your company culture.
- Allow your people to shine. Hubert Joly, CEO of Best Buy, once told Gostick that we all want to be the smartest guy or gal in the room. But we can’t be. We need to allow others to shine. A leader’s job is to help employees see their value and worth. This is what keeps people working hard for the betterment of the business.
- See work from a different perspective. Gostick told me about a leader at Fairmont Hotels who spends one day per year working in one of his employee’s jobs. By spending a day cleaning hotel rooms, he was able to see the challenges that affect the average employee. This allowed him not only to recognize the employee but to fix the issues.
- Tailor gratitude to the individual. Make sure that you personalize gratitude so that your employees know that it is their hard work that you appreciate. A team “thank you” is great, but saying “I notice how you handled that tough situation — nice work!” is better for morale. When people feel noticed, they work harder.
- Don’t confuse gratitude with excellent compensation. Yes, your employees need to be able to make a fair wage and have enough money to pay bills. But compensation, even if it’s more than the average, is not how you show gratitude. Sure, it’s essential, but frequent recognition is what keeps people coming in and working hard every day.
To Learn More About Leading with Gratitude
If you want to learn more, go ahead and give our podcast a listen, and go grab yourself a copy of Adrian Gostick and Chester Elton’s book, Leading with Gratitude: Eight Leadership Practices for Extraordinary Business Results. And, as always, if you like our podcast, give us a review on Apple Podcasts and tell us about it!