Recently, I got a chance to chat with Jason Treu, author of Social Wealth: How to Build Extraordinary Relationships by Transforming the Way We Live, Love, Lead and Network.
It seems like, despite our world of fast-paced technology and supposed connection, somehow our relationships are becoming more shallow — more superficial — than they’ve ever been. Sure, we’re connected to more people than ever through social media. But, if that’s true, then why do we seem to be lacking deep connection?
These were the questions swimming in my mind as I spoke with Jason.
Whether you’re a Fortune 500 company or a small business, we all have the same basic wants and needs, and one of them is a genuine connection with those around us.
Jason began by telling me that, through his research and time with other professionals in the workforce, he kept finding that the primary challenge we face seems to be centered around a “lack of vulnerability, connection, and […] meaningful relationships.”
In other words, our relationship “bank account” is empty.
What happened to the good old days?
It wasn’t always like this, was it?
If we time-traveled back just 50-75 years, we’d encounter a vastly different way of finding connection. In those days, people had no choice but to get out and talk to other people. And their success and livelihood were dependent on relationships, so there was an urgency that just doesn’t seem to exist today. But why such a change?
Jason and I mused about the prevalence of social media, like Facebook or even LinkedIn, which is meant to facilitate connections. But, ironically, that’s where the connection seems to stop. The magic doesn’t really happen if we remain behind a screen in our interactions.
Why place a priority on social wealth?
Social wealth is critical because it means that our social and emotional needs are being met through our relationships. Jason explained that this connection with the world around us ultimately helps us “make an impact and find meaning.” He added, “That’s what creates our lives that we live, right? […] It’s about the impact and meaning that you can make both personally and professionally.”
Whether you’re interviewing or being interviewed, interacting with others on the job, or prospecting for your business, you’ve got to have soft skills. And one of the skills most lacking in the workforce today is the ability to communicate. On top of that, communication is the foundation of relationship-building, so it’s no wonder why we’re struggling to acquire social wealth.
“One of the skills most lacking in the workforce today is the ability to communicate.”
Jason explained that he often “deals with people who have no ability to communicate and they can’t work in teams. They can’t collaborate very well.” He went on to say that “those skills are required for you to build great relationships.” No matter what job you do, you need others to provide valuable feedback to you, to give you a fresh perspective, or to help you with an urgent issue or project.
But Jason warned that, even if it’s hard to reach out and make genuine connections, you shouldn’t stop trying. He said, “You can’t be short-minded and short-sighted about the value of [connecting with others] because there’s not always going to be an immediate ROI on everything that you do.” Put simply, relationship-building just takes time.
Building Social Wealth: Techniques to Avoid
Before I asked Jason to give us a few tips to build social wealth, I relayed a method that I’ve seen fail time and time again. The “Spray and Pray” method is where people connect with as many people as possible (on LinkedIn or other social sites), but really have no intention of meeting in person or working on creating meaningful relationships.
Jason responded, “It’s a false sense of connection and belonging” that unfortunately doesn’t hold any water when hard times come, and they inevitably will. He went on to say that, when a crisis hits, “you look around you and you realize that you built your life on a house of cards.”
Practical Tips for Building Social Wealth
So, then, we know that our connections need to be meaningful, but what are some tips for deepening our bonds with those around us?
Jason had some suggestions…
- Recognize that most people, not just introverts, struggle with the awkwardness of initiating conversation. Go for it anyway. Jason encourages us to “fight through the fear” and “do it in spite of how you feel.” Believe it or not, these interactions do really become easier the more you practice them.
- Decide to lead. Start the conversation, initiate the call or text, or ask the first question.
- Find a way – like a game or activity – to start to get to know your colleagues. Jason even suggested downloading his card game, “Cards Against Mundanity,” which gets everyone answering questions about what really matters in their lives.
- Show some gratitude. Pick one or two people from work and share a card or a thoughtful text with them. Tell them “why you’re thanking them and the impact that they make” in your life.
Developing Your Personal Brand
I knew that, in Jason’s book, he talked a lot about developing a personal brand and how this too can be beneficial in building social wealth. Jason believes that your personal brand should convey what really matters to you and what you stand for. And when your personal brand is authentic, people will naturally want to engage with you.
Plus, it doesn’t hurt that, through the process of developing your personal brand, you find out more about yourself: who you are, what you care about, and what drives you.
I liked Jason’s explanation of personal branding because, in a way, I could see it as a social contract. Once people interact with your personal brand, they’ll know exactly what they’re going to get by interacting with you. And this must surely make you more approachable and easier to connect with.
Getting Back to the Basics
In my interview with Jason Treu, I learned that social wealth affects virtually every aspect of life. To learn more about building your social wealth, check out the full podcast by clicking here. Or, pick up a copy of Jason Treu’s book, Social Wealth: How to Build Extraordinary Relationships by Transforming the Way We Live, Love, Lead and Network.