We know so much more about our coworkers than we used to thanks to social media. We don’t just see vacation photos and baby announcements—we also see our peers’ engagement with news articles, which can reveal their political opinions. And identifying a stark difference in opinion can easily lead to workplace discomfort or conflict.
I spoke with Howard J. Ross, founder of diversity and inclusion consulting company Cook Ross and bestselling author of Everyday Bias. His new book, Our Search for Belonging: How Our Need to Connect Is Tearing Us Apart, discusses how our innate desires for community push us into “us versus them” mentalities. We talked about how to keep the workplace kind, respectful, and welcoming to everyone regardless of beliefs and backgrounds. Here are five ways to bring people together in a respectful manner:
1. Understand why our current climate is unique and how the workplace fits in.
According to Ross, our instinct to separate ourselves from people who hold different beliefs is much stronger today because our beliefs are more closely tied to our identities.
“We’ve always had differences,” he said. “But it has shifted from an issue orientation – ‘I disagree with you about this but I agree with you about that’ – to an identity orientation. It’s no longer about issues. It’s now: ‘You’re one of those kinds of people. You’re not my kind of person, and that can affect the level of trust I feel in you, how I like you, whether I want to spend time with you.’”
We no longer think “I disagree with you on this point,” but rather, “I don’t like who you are,” Ross said.
But because we can’t choose our coworkers, the workplace is actually a great opportunity for fostering community across difference. “The workplace is, I believe, our best hope for bringing some of these things together,” Ross said.
2. Create a clear vision and purpose and communicate it often.
Differences in the workplace are inevitable, but they don’t have to cause problems.
“You need to figure out a way to work out those differences so everyone can be successful at work… Leaders have not only an opportunity but a responsibility to create this sense of belonging in our environments,” Ross said.
One way to support a welcoming culture is to guide employees toward a common path, Ross said, and for that path to be understood by everyone at the company. A clear organizational vision and purpose “allows everybody to have a true north they’re pointing towards. Then, people can sign up for that, or walk away from it. But without that, it’s not clear.”
Plus, working toward a common goal will help your employees feel like they’re all on the same team.
3. Create boundaries and assume the best of each other.
By implementing a set of guidelines for how to communicate with and relate to each other, your employees are more likely to trust each other.
“I like the metaphor of having a small child or a pet in the backyard,” Ross said. If your fence is broken and has openings in places, you have to watch the yard every minute to make sure they’re safe. But if you know the fence is sealed, you know there’s no way for them to get out, then you don’t have to watch constantly. Similarly, when we understand that we’re all operating under a shared set of rules, we can relax a little bit. We know what to expect.”
One “rule” could be clear shared intentions and a commitment to help each other when actions don’t match up with those intentions. This is a great way to identify and work to eliminate blind spots.
“My own personal experience is very few people wake up in the morning and wring their hands and say, ‘How can I suppress women and people of color today?’ …Overwhelmingly, the challenge we have is not that explicit. It’s in blind spots that we don’t even realize are guiding our decisions.” Recognizing those blinds spots in ourselves, and seeking advice from others on how to get rid of them, are major steps in making workplaces more equitable and welcoming to everyone.
This also keeps everyone involved. “A lot of the diversity work we’ve done historically has been aimed at people rather than working with people,” Ross added. “So a lot of white men feel attacked by that work rather than helped to understand it,” and people from underrepresented groups can be left feeling responsible for everyone’s growth and understanding.
Instead, when it’s clear that everyone wants the best for their coworkers, it’s much easier to trust each other and to grow from these conversations.
4. Be vulnerable!
“As leaders, we set the tone for these conversations,” Ross said. When leaders are willing to open up and talk about their own fears and concerns, employees are much more likely to follow suit.
“In the leadership models many of us grew up in, leaders had to be strong and infallible and never make mistakes. That’s a real trap our employees then fall into, too.”
By being honest about your interest to foster an inclusive community and about moments in which you’ve failed in your attempts, employees will see not only how much you care, but also that these conversations are not just allowed but encouraged.
5. Pay attention to who you’re hiring. A diverse workplace is a creative workplace.
Though bridging difference can be a challenge, it’s not an excuse to create a homogenous team. In fact, that’s not good for business: research shows that organizations that hire people across different identity groups perform better. “They tend to come up with more potential solutions to problems,” Ross said. “They tend to be more innovative.”
This is largely because customer bases are changing, too. “If you’ve got a changing marketplace that is getting more and more diverse all the time, and you’re a business that doesn’t have some representation from those groups, then you’re not going to understand that marketplace as well. You’re not going to understand the needs of your customers as well.”
Listen to the full interview