Nobody sets out to be that person. You know the one—the one people avoid at work because they’re always interrupting people or microwaving leftover fish for lunch. Some etiquette rules are obvious, but some, not so much. So I interviewed Mindy Lockard, a leadership and etiquette expert who has the last word on everything you can do to bring your best people skills to work every day.
It all starts with confidence
At the end of the day, etiquette is all about being a good person. As Mindy puts it, “Etiquette is what teaches us how to walk into a room and say, “Oh, you know what? I’ve got this,” so that I can get over myself and actually invest in other people. It’s eye contact, it’s posture, it’s interest in others, it’s having a conversation with people.” Mindy emphasizes that being comfortable in one’s own skin is the first step towards better etiquette. That and actively choosing to engage.
Bring your attention to meetings
A common place for poor workplace etiquette? The meeting room. Mindy’s seen it all, “Don’t show up late. When you show up late, unprepared or distracted, you are unintentionally communicating arrogance. It’s a way of saying, my time is way more important than your time.” So show up on time, show up prepared and put phones and laptops down so you can fully commit your attention.
It’s okay to fail
This should go without saying, but ghosting is never okay. Mindy is seeing it with college students, interns and new hires struggling with the fear of failure and tough conversations—people are ghosting rather than dealing with it. The big thing that she wants us to take away from all this is that, “Failure is going to help you. You have to embrace failure. You have to embrace mistakes. You have to let go of the impostor syndrome that’s running through your head telling you that someone is going to find out that you’re not X, Y and Z.”
You don’t have to know everything
So many people show up to the workplace like they always have to sell themselves. People are afraid to say they don’t know things because they think it will make them look weak. But as Mindy explains, “There’s so much more to be gained from listening, learning the culture. All we have to say is, “Tell me more.”
Remember, etiquette is fluid
Rules matter but they’re always shifting and you have to be ready to read the signs: within a company, within a city, within a restaurant. The way Mindy explains it, “You don’t go to McDonalds and eat like you would at the White House.” That’s where awareness and a baseline of the most formal way allows you to start right and then adapt.
And finally, the dinner etiquette you’ve been waiting for
Let’s say you’re sitting at a fancy work dinner. The president of the company is at your table. “You wait for them to take their napkin to put it on their lap,” Mindy explains, “The thing to know is that the person who is made or paid puts their napkin on their lap first or takes the first bite. If you aren’t sitting with the president or who paid for it, wait for three quarters of the table to have their food. You don’t have to wait for everyone.” It’s simple stuff—but it’s the kind of information you can only get from an etiquette expert.
Want more etiquette tips or interested in joining a year-long program for working professionals? You can find more information at www.MindyLockard.com or follow Mindy on Instagram @mindylockard or on Twitter @TheGraciousGirl.