Many employees don’t feel supported by their managers. I hear this from employees all the time. But they often don’t feel like there is a way to improve their situation, and they worry about the consequences of bringing up any issues themselves. Even when the employee and manager have a good rapport, an employee may avoid trickier conversations for fear of upsetting their manager or souring the relationship.
But no one can change their behavior if they don’t first recognize a problem. It’s reasonable to expect a lot from our leaders, but even they can’t magically spot a problem that hasn’t been voiced. So everyone benefits when employees take the lead and initiate those tough but real conversations.
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Here are 7 tips for going into that conversation with confidence:
BEFORE THE CONVERSATION
- Identify your intentions. Why is this conversation important to you? If you wish to boost understanding and trust between you and your manager, you’re on the right track. But if you just want your manager to feel like a horrible boss, then you’re not in a productive mindset. Pause until you can refocus your energy and come to the talk with understanding and respect.
- Consider the best timing for the conversation. For example, it’s probably better to avoid times when your manager is especially busy and is more likely to be distracted. If you don’t have any one-on-one meetings scheduled, request one to discuss your progress and obtain guidance.
- Prepare. Come to the meeting with facts and examples of the behavior that is bothering you. This will help you stay focused and ease your stress going into it.
DURING THE CONVERSATION
- Consider your manager’s communication style and preferences. For example, if your manager is a fast-paced, results-oriented person, be clear and concise with your message. Get to the point quickly. If they like to spend a few minutes catching up generally first, follow their lead.
- Explain the impact of the behavior and why this issue is important to you. This is where you should state how you feel as a result of their behavior. It’s also a good idea to clarify your intentions for the conversation here.
- State what you need to be motivated and engaged. Tell your manager what they can give you or how they can change their behavior so that you can do your best work.
- Collaborate. Have a conversation, don’t give a lecture! Work together to find options for solving the problem at hand.